I wanted to leave a brief explanation as to my intermittent absence from crafting some blog posts. Currently, I am writing a book and I am devoting my time to this writing ministry. As a result, I have intentionally taken a sabbatical from the original approach regarding www.gordonselley.com. Rest assured though, God is molding the foundations of this ministry, as I continue to step out in faith into His arms.
Nonetheless, I am going to leave you a draft portion of my book introduction. Please feel to read this to get an idea about what I’m writing about, and feel free to offer intercessory prayers on my behalf. Just so you know, I will not be offering other public renderings of this book project. So…please enjoy this sample!
Introduction:
In terms of human behavior, a gigantic chasm has always existed between the “have” and the “have-nots.” The people who “have” that special thing seem to know how to live on “top of the rock,”? even when the storms of life strike violently against them. Regardless of what opposes their path, they remain unshakable, knowing how to bounce back and discover rich treasures along their adventurous journey. Basically, the people with the “have” portions in their soul instinctively roll up their sleeves to extract the good from the bad; and even when slowed down occasionally due to painful hardships, their efforts seem to translate into abundant living.
On the other hand, the story about the “have-nots” is much less inspirational. In fact, it’s very bleak. Their foundation comes into question when confronted with the prevailing winds from the storm. Oftentimes, their resolve against adversity gives way because of a lack of understanding and an apparent inability to adjust to change. The “have-nots” possess a very different outlook from their counterparts. They get entangled in the miry quandaries rather than seeing hope and finding a new way to live vivaciously despite their circumstances.
One of the key points about this book is that anyone can become a “have!” After all, the underlying truth about transformed living is not reserved for the few who are privileged nor does it betray those who reside in the smaller places of society. The real motive behind transformed living is that anyone can gain enlightenment in pursuit of the ultimate life.
This book is a compilation of my personal thoughts about real life transformation. It’s not a message that indicts the “have-nots,” nor do I precipitously applaud those who “have” the special intangibles to overcome obstacles. Personally, I know what it feels like, and to practically live like a “have-not.” And on the flip side, after undergoing real life transformation, I’m keenly aware of what it means to live the fully transformed life – when radical change for the better actually happens – when our earth-shaking confessions break the chains from our inconsolable parts – and when our old and tattered nature is miraculously converted into the new and improved.
Make no mistake about it. To experience transformation is not for the faint of heart. It takes incredible courage to see life from different perspectives, and then to actually take that initial step into this newly-formed reality. To abide in this place and to progress forward with the second step is even more daring, and so on down the path.
Moving from old habits to establishing new patterns of living does not happen by mere coincidence. Neither is this positive life change something that can be designed by exact blueprint or therapeutically corrected by self-help seminars or entirely accomplished by our own insistence of will. Of course, some underlying attitudinal principles, such as inspiration, perseverance, self-control and discipline, help to get the ball rolling on this new course and clearly distinguish the “have” from the “have-nots.” Yet, these self-improvement efforts are insufficient to break down the massive strongholds of being deeply wounded or to finish the marathon of what it means to be fully transformed.
My story is no different from anyone else who has fallen from the top of the rock into the pit of utter despair. After sustaining severe auto injuries, I underwent four neck surgeries and hundreds of medical procedures and narcotic medications. The end result is that the treatments only did part of the job. I was left with the nasty residuals of neuropathic pain – not the kind of pain like stubbing your toe or burning your finger. Instead, this was the kind of pain that doesn’t stop or seem to get better, the kind of pain that you can’t help but wonder, “Will I ever be able to truly live a normal life again?” This type of pain seriously challenges your physical tolerance, as well as your psychological ability to cope.
And this was just the beginning of things to come. The torrential rains of chronic pain poured unnecessarily for years, and the storm didn’t end there. Everything about whom I was, including my professional career, my material means, my workouts, my self-worth and my beliefs, were shaken to the bone. Before any of the clouds had lifted, I complicated matters even further, as I gained way too many extra pounds in an attempt to plug the leaking holes in my heart.
Foundationally, my life was but sinking sand. I found myself stuck in the muddy clay, unable to get my footing on dry enough ground to climb out of my hole. I just kept slipping and then falling on my face every time I tried to fix my stubborn problems.
By our very nature, we desire life and we crave it abundantly. Yet, when we’re shattered and tired and lost, the place of higher ground seems like an illusion to our broken senses. It’s no different than crawling on our knees in the desert for a drink of water, only to find a mirage of false hope. I thirsted for righteousness, thought it was in my grasp, but came up empty every time I put this reality to the test. Instead, when I thought I had reached the top of the rock, either I fell backwards from a cleft or I’d have to climb even higher, never really knowing how to get where I thought I needed to go.
The place of life can turn into a place of darkness where the truth gets submerged under several layers of self-delusion as a result of being broken. To cope, we try to find as many remedies to relieve our pain as are readily available. And without flinching, we reach for the nearest philosophical or spiritual ideologies to set us back on the path of vitality. But oftentimes, we take the route of the “have-nots,” as we end up embezzling false ideas about who we are or we addictively engage in unhealthy behaviors to try to soothe the aching wounds of our hurting souls.
Nouwen wrote, “What is your pain? It is the experience of not receiving what you most need. It is the place of emptiness where you feel sharply the absence of the love you most desire.”? Have you wandered about in this place? Feeling neglected of what you most need? I surely have.
None of us want to spend time in a place of unforgiving pain and abandonment. It seems as if we’ll do anything to experience the well-springs of life, where the rivers of hope and renewal actually flow. Yet realistically, very few of us know how to move from the mirage of an oasis to the streams of living water. Or if we do, then our brokenness speaks stronger than our willingness to pursue what is really needed most for our lives.
Frankly, I desire to meet you, the reader, in that place where we hide when we’re broken and stripped and have experienced a real crisis of faith. I want to offer you a cup of water since you’re thirsty. I wish to share with you the mysteries behind the transformed life. And in a nutshell, I want to help guide you on the seemingly unendurable path to freedom and newness and self-discovery.
Christian or not, we share a common link about brokenness, which I believe, unites our lives in a very curious way. We really do not have to compare the severity of our wounds. We already know what lies in the secret place of our suffering. In fact, we connect because we’re familiar with that place of pain – where we’ve been powerless to heal our wounds – where we’ve been held hostage against our will – where we’ve been stuck for too long and eventually have surrendered to the reality of what it means to live like the “have-nots” of this world.
Being at the bottom is a place where we’ve become more accustomed to pain than we have known about our true selves. In effect, our blindness about our true identity is actually found in our uncertainty regarding our beliefs, rather than on our ability to see the disappointments about our own lives. So the double-pronged question exists: How much truth will we allow ourselves to bear? And as apprentices of brokenness, are we willing to surrender our old habits for renewed ways of living?
To be a guide, I had to first climb out of my hopelessness to then travel along the unpredictable path of transformation before making any recommendations to others. The voices of the world – cultural philosophies, pious religiosity, democratic systems, lifestyle ideologies, as well as friends and acquaintances – tried to persuade me against this arduous journey. When I had no belief about myself, I had to find it somewhere else. When I experienced miserable bouts of depression, I needed some light to guide me out of darkness. And when I had traumatic setbacks, I needed to hear a voice of encouragement to continue onward. Regardless of what my needs were, the ways of the world refused to furnish any helpful advice about how to get to the top of the rock.
Nevertheless, I knew I felt called out of my pit of destruction. The voice of God was faint, but its prompting was powerfully persuasive. From out of the sludge, I knew I needed to rely on the power – the same power available to you – that was pulling me up. It was radically changing my mind about the world around me. Moreover, it was supplying nourishment for my soul that I had not experienced in a very long time. Eventually, the mirage began to turn into an oasis.
Standing alone, weak and willing to surrender, I was at the crossroads, wondering which direction to go. The inner tugging was undeniable as to which route to take. As a result, I simply obeyed, as I ventured out on the less-traveled pathway – the difficult one full of unburied pain, flabby cellulite and negative attachments. Regardless of how narrow the path appeared, I began to put my trust in the power that was pulling me from total despair onto solid footing.
Because we can intuitively identify with each other because of our painful experiences, it’s not farfetched to put ourselves into each other’s shoes and imagine the challenges of what it is like to be restricted from reaching our potential. On the other hand, to see in the opposite direction and to actually take those next daring steps toward real recovery requires quite a bit of trust in the unseen.
Therefore, I want you to contemplate another perspective aside from the limitations of pain and brokenness. I’m asking that you put yourself into my shoes. And after you’ve tried on my thoughts for awhile, then extract what you need to begin your own journey of being transformed. I encourage you to walk from old to new in a brand-new pair of shoes.
My story is just beginning. It’s chalk-full of life-changing truths for individual suffering and for morbid obesity. The ending can only be described as real life transformation. But the steps in between is where the rubber meets the road. It is where I held on to truth and chose to walk through the wall of fire against my life. It is where deliberate, single-minded focus laden with child-like faith carried me through the towering flames.
At times, the challenges to control a broken-down body and an insatiable appetite seemed insurmountable. Yet, there is a point where we press beyond our natural points of resistance. There is a place beyond our own version of pain and darkness. And undoubtedly, there is a voice calling us into the unfolding realities of love. Are you willing to follow – to see what lies beyond the wall of fire in all of our lives?
Keep me on your favorites about spiritual fitness. You can begin this exciting journey of transformation regardless if you’re living with chronic pain or if you’re struggling against horrendous obstacles.
