Spiritual Fitness & Living With Chronic Pain

When you are trying to process painful difficulties, it’s really important to do two things: think and feel.
 
Too often many of us either focus to tightly on compartmentalizing our problems or we take the other route by emotionally overreacting to the circumstances given us. Being lopsided with either approach breeds unhealthy behaviors.
 
When dealing with adversity, like chronic pain, I’ve found that the “think and feel” approach works wonderfully.  For instance, there are days when I feel physically ill. It seems like every joint and every tissue in my body just hurts. Yet, if I allow this pain to dictate my attitudes and my behaviors throughout the day, this is when I usually experience depression and hopelessness. Self-pity causes doubt about my faith as well as demoralizing any optimism regarding my options about the next day. And similar destructive patterns occur when I only focus on thinking through my chronic pain, it seems like my heart becomes hardened and my compassion towards others runs very thin.
 
So to counteract deep attitudinal valleys of depression and cynicism, I allow myself to “feel” the pain, then after gauging its affects, I’ll strategically “think” about how to dispel fear and anxiety and how to persevere throughout the day. This approach of thinking is deeply rooted in faith, requiring God to renew my mind and to allow me to really discover who I am, what I have, what is meaningful, why I’m here and where my journey is taking me. He’ll do the same for you if you have faith in Him.
 
I encourage you to avoid being stuck regarding thinking too much about your pain or simply absorbing every negative feeling about your suffering. Persevering each day provides excellent benefits for your soul. 
 
Keep me on your favorites. For more about living with chronic pain, as well as spiritual healing, visit me at www.gordonselley.com

 
To your health, Gordon Selley

After undergoing my first neck surgery and living with a lot of pain after that, it took me nearly two years to get over the anger about my horrendous circumstances.
 
At first, I was very angry and somewhat rebellious. Losing my health, my physical abilities, my career and many relationships shattered my own perceptions regarding acceptance, identity, security and purpose. Being Christian in my religious beliefs did not stop me from also being mad at God. I had asked myself many questions. Was this God’s vengeance for something wrong and sinful in my own core being? Was this the best way for God to make corrections in my life? Did God really need to be the punisher?
 

From viewing myself from the outside inward, everything appeared satisfactory outwardly, but in reality, I had made several personal mistakes, in which self-centeredness was at the root of my illusion of who I thought I was and what influence I thought I had over others, as well as related circumstances.
 
One might consider these mistakes as blatant sin, insisting on some form of retribution. That is what I thought was happening to me as pain seemed to be providing adequate punishment for a failed marriage, moral laxity, and a broken heart. But as it turned out, the meaning of pain was much more than I originally imagined. No matter how bad things got, pain wasn’t being used as a means of torture; but instead, it was a way of correction to set my life back on the right course of living.
 
As a result, continued pain impulses reached deep within my soul, stripping layer upon unsuspecting layer of masked problems. The deeper the pain penetrated inwardly, the more I recognized my unhappiness and discontent as really being a form of evil.  Not that I ever thought of myself as evil nor was I practicing any form of satanic worship nor was I really doing anything wrong when comparing my lifestyle to others; but in full honesty, my deepest intentions were sinful, selfish and wicked. Sin was like a chameleon hiding within the deciduous part of my heart. 
 
Pain served one of two purposes for me. Either I could continue to rebel against the fiery trials of pain as well as the people and systems associated with it or I could readjust my attitude, beginning my spiritual journey with a clean slate from God.
 
About two years later, I chose the second option, turning to the realisms of following Jesus Christ. After deciding to rededicate my life to Christ, the anger immediately left me even though the pain hadn’t. I no longer viewed God as vengeful because no evil passions exist in Him. Nor did I see God as a punisher about my sin, because I knew His grace already took care of that. 
 
As CS Lewis writes about pain, “…It gives the only opportunity the bad man can have for amendment. It removes the veil; it plants the flag of truth within the fortress of a rebel soul.”
 
Perhaps pain is poignantly used in your life to dig up the bad things that you struggle with or maybe you’re fully unaware of any root of sin in your soul? Perhaps you are being set free to have a deeper relationship with God?
 
No matter how you feel right now; I challenge you to take the plunge of faith and to be set free from your anger about pain and its devastating consequences. Good soil within your heart is being worked by pain so new life can spring forth. God is not your punisher. God, through Jesus Christ, is the gardener of your soul.
 
Keep me on your favorites. For more about living with chronic pain, as well as spiritual healing, visit me at www.gordonselley.com

 
To your health, Gordon Selley

Does an apple per day actually keep the doctor away? I wonder if this old wives tale has some particle of truth hidden within it.
 
When dropping my HDL cholesterol level nearly 100 points, I credit the intake of pectin as having some influence with this remarkable change. Other factors also include taking Crestor-10 mg/daily, re-structuring my diet to organic foods, drinking larger amounts of water and brisk walking on the treadmill regularly.
 
Scientific evidence shows that fruits, like peaches, apples, currants and plums, are rich in pectin. Personally, I usually eat an apple around 5:00 pm each evening as my last snack of the day. Not only does this soluble fiber satisfy any hunger pangs, but I know that apple pectin is also effective in lowering cholesterol levels.
 
With all of the statistics pointing to a rising incidence of diabetes in the United States, it makes relative sense that an apple per day just might help keep the doctor away.
 
Keep me on your favorites. For more about weight loss motivation, visit me atwww.gordonselley.com

 
To your health, Gordon Selley

Today would’ve been my brother’s 46^th birthday. To my knowledge his wife and kids are going to scatter his ashes on a beach in Florida to have some closure about this ordeal.
 
Why did this unnecessary act have to happen? Again and always, no one will really know. The reason I’m offering further explanation is to try to put some pieces together for those who read this blog and who have personally written to me about this unexpected happening.
 
I think Clay was human and vulnerable and broken.  That does not mean that he didn’t have faith.  I think his death will teach all of us, including those outside my family, about our own ways of thinking and living by faith.  Too often, when we become Christians, it’s as if we deny the beauty and vulnerability about our humanness.  God certainly did not do this as evidenced by Christ.  He identified with us in every human way even though He was without sin.  His message to us was not to first become Christians, in the context of the American 21^st version of Christianity.  Rather, He was more concerned about something much bigger, which was to usher in the kingdom of God, and to do just two things.  Love God and Love People.  Of course, in order to do this, repentance and belief are prerequisites.
 
I certainly don’t understand the amount of spiritual warfare Clay was under during those last few hours.  But I do know it had to be tremendous.  Although we can examine the selfishness of his act, I believe in his own way, even though twisted, that within his broken heart he must have plainly felt unloved; therefore, Clay just gave up.  God understands his fatigue about living. 

 
I also during this time still feel waves of immense sadness about his passing.  The lesson I’m learning from all of this is to live by the power of God more effectively by loving Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.  And secondarily and equal to the first command of love is to love thy neighbor as thy self.  I want to get out of the way of my own narrowmindedness about love and to let God really work throughout my entire life.
 

Clay was obviously the weaker vessel.  Regardless of fragility or pride or anything else, I’m personally encouraged to break more chains of my own preconceived judgments about others and to walk more freely in love. What lessons are you learning from this horrendous tragedy?
 

It would be remiss of me not to mention my deep concern for Val, Karlyn and Blayne.
 
Keep me on your favorites. For more about living with chronic pain, as well as spiritual healing,  visit me at www.gordonselley.com

 
To your health, Gordon Selley

Oftentimes we relate to God based upon our needs, our personalities and our environment. And when living with chronic pain all of these things try to take precedence over the importance of having an intimate relationship with Him.
 
During many painful times for me, prayer seemed meaningless. It was as if I was falling back on random, emotional pleas for help. My humanness and weakness became more exposed. In hindsight, I probably had to go through this phase of doing something that appeared spiritually disciplined, for example, trying to pray for longer periods of time. As a result, I tried to pray from the core of my heart. It was like shooting arrows into the air, not knowing if my prayers might actually hit the intended target. It seemed like there were no immediate results in correlation to my petitions for help, discussions of confession and gut-wrenching sorrow for my own self-sufficiency.
 
Looking back upon those times, they almost don’t seem real. In essence, those times mimicked convoluted stages of grief. Prayer made me honest about myself and where my place was within this world.
 
Then I went through a profoundly layered process of unlearning what I had previously learned as a Christian. Pain tore down the walls of the meaningless things about the religious life. And prayer helped me to see God differently. Beforehand, I viewed pain as His way to forcefully make me to love and respect Him and to conform to rigid Church doctrine. But this was simply untrue. Through pain and prayer, I learned to love the things that really counted, which included the gift of my own humanity and the reality of God.
 
As I really grew in God, my prayer life became more deliberate, self-controlled and sober-minded. The focus of prayer was off my many needs and redirected toward the discovery of who I was and how was I really to please God.  Longer periods of prayer time no longer included spontaneous outbursts from my mind. Rather, they included direct contemplation and study of the scriptures, and then praying those verses into my heart. God was down deep within me, speaking to me and changing the way I thought, the way I processed things about life, and most importantly, the way we’re suppose to love.
 
So basically, the answer to my original subject title, “Does Prayer Help?” In the context of pain or otherwise, my response is an emphatic yes!
 
I willingly share my story with you so you can extract anything from it that you want. Hopefully, shared excerpts from my life will help you in your struggle of dealing with chronic pain or losing weight or overcoming obstacles.
 
Keep me on your favorites. For more about living with chronic pain, as well as spiritual healing, visit me at www.gordonselley.com

 
To your health, Gordon Selley

Yesterday I spoke with a friend of mine, named Bob Kirkeeide. In our discussion, we briefly touched upon death and grief, and I found something he said to be simple, yet profound.
 
One day, as he was contemplating about grief, he thought about a proverb that he learned from the dinner table. His mother would say, “Clean your entire plate so you can have dessert.” He used to think to himself, “If I eat everything on my plate, how will I have extra room in my stomach to eat anything else, even if it’s dessert?” 
 
Bob commented that we always seem to find that “little pocket” to have dessert. And relative to grief, he believes that we have that “little pocket” to deal with the heartache and pain from grieving.
 
In summation, the “big pocket” of our hearts can be filled with victory from grace. From this reference, God makes room for the “little pocket” to deal with grief appropriately. I encourage you to fully embrace grief and work through it entirely. Do not let the guilt of dessert prevent you from letting God work completely through the five-course meal of life and death. 
 
Keep me on your favorites. For more about living with chronic pain, as well as spiritual healing, visit me at www.gordonselley.com

 
To your health, Gordon Selley

Just as greed and incompetence are vastly responsible for the economic down turn on Wall Street, so is gluttony and ignorance when it comes to the super-sized amounts of foods most Americans consume. Unlike other countries, Americans tend to consume higher amounts of animal-based foods, such as red meat, poultry and pork, which in effect, bring about increased risks for many types of diseases, such as diabetes, obesity and heart attacks.
Throughout my adult life, I have been part of the American dietary nightmare. I have literally loved to eat tenderloin filet steaks and lean ground chuck burgers. For me, this has always been a way to treat my body in a special way, regardless of the occasion. But in reality, my affinity toward animal-sourced products contributed to poor nutritional health that basically fought against my chronic, neuropathic pain condition.
 
Even though I knew the health benefits from changing my diet, there was pride of affluence in my choice of food groups. I had always remained firm to the idea that if I ate like a king, I would feel like a king and would be acknowledged as such in the presence of my friends. My ego was certainly influencing my eating behaviors and providing emotional comfort in the meantime. Once I quit being prideful about what I ate, then I began to “see” what I should eat because I believed in what I was doing. It was almost instantaneous the way the light turned on inside my head. Pride no longer blocked my vision about attaining better health.
 
If you’re currently struggling with your weight or you might be on the verge of becoming victim to serious diseases, I encourage you to put your pride at the door regarding improper eating, and then enter into a new place of curiosity about making real changes toward proper health. Don’t delay. Don’t deprive yourself the best of life. Affluence really isn’t about money, power or perception. Rather it is about spiritual richness and wholeness. 
 
As Mark Twain wrote, “On with the dance, joy be unconfined.”
 
Keep me on your favorites.  For more about weight loss motivation and spiritual growth, visit me atwww.gordonselley.com

 
To your health, Gordon Selley

First of all, I want to thank each one of you who remembered and honored my brother Clay.  Although I’m appreciative of your support,this will be my last blog entry about suicide. Perhaps if the situation arises in the future I’ll discuss suicide and touch upon some of its characteristics from different perspectives.  But for now, I’m going to close further discussions about this subject.  It’s time to move onward with the life God has given us.
 
No matter how you think of it, the grief from suicide is one of the toughest pains to deal with. Yet behind the darkness of this trauma, there remains an upside to consider. Primarily, we can seek internal optimism and healing because this is the nature of how the grief process works.
 
Why is grief so significant for healing? Of all the hurts we might possibly experience as humans, the grief process is something that will inevitably comfort and restore us, if we voluntarily embrace it. In the case of my brother’s death, eventually, there will be an end to the wrongs of his suicide.
 
Drs. Cloud and Townsend write, “…Grief is God’s way of our getting finished with the bad stuff of life. It is the process, by which we ‘get over it,’ by which we ‘let it go.’ And because of that, because it is the process by which things can be ‘over with,’ it becomes the process by which we can be available for new, good things. The soul is freed from painful experience and released for new, good experience.”
 
Our souls are designed to finish things, even if it means completely grieving over the loss of human life. When we embrace the grief process instead of remaining in denial, there is an opportunity to fully finish our quest to be healed from the pain brought about by another person.
 
From the influx of emails and having conversations with my own friends, suicide and unexpected death of loved ones is not a rare thing to happen. In fact, it is very common today. This fact certainly does not ease any fraction of the sorrow we might feel from the death experience. 
 
On the other hand, all of us can truly draw comfort from God. By His grace, He does provide the necessary courage for us to enter into grief and to finish it until the end. Through the example of Jesus Christ, we have a real opportunity to “feel” a small portion of death, and then to really experience the new life of faith intended for each one of us.
 
When sorrow gives way to peace, and when old habits are abandoned for new ones, and when the death experience gives way to real life, this is when the grief process becomes complete!
 
Keep me on your favorites. For more about living with chronic pain, as well as spiritual healing, visit me at www.gordonselley.com

 
To your health, Gordon Selley

Think of pain and suffering from a positive perspective. And since I’m an advocate of long-term weight management and exercise, please think of how a physical work out of your body compares to that of how your soul is stretched and challenged in the growth of its core.
 
For instance, as we stretch and challenge our muscles to get bigger and stronger through weight lifting (as an example), God does the same thing when challenging our souls through painful trials so that we can also get bigger and stronger. Physical exercise trains the internal and external parts of the body, while painful trials train our souls in godliness, purifying and cleansing our inner most being. Both of these disciplines keep our entire being on the road to better health and wholeness.
 
While I encourage you to recognize some of the benefits from pain and suffering, I also realize that not all forms of suffering necessarily provide therapeutic results. 
 
Nonetheless, if your soul is being strenuously exercised through trials, as most of us are during these turbulent times, I encourage you to finish your workout. In the end, you will be stretched beyond your current limitations. Your mind will be expanded to see things from different perspectives. After you persevere through painful adversities, your vision about the future will actually become brighter. Your willingness to accept change and to adapt to it through forward thinking will have you taking action for the better. 
 
At first, your small steps toward change might seem difficult. But as you continue your walk, things will become more involuntary and will actually not be as challenging when you face the obstacles of fear and difficulty. It’s kind of like being on the last phase of your exercise program. This is when you begin to slow down your heart rate, being able to see some positive results from your efforts. And as this exercise routine of trials pertains to your soul, this is when you’ll begin to understand yourself better in relationship to God and with regards to your overall purpose for living. Meaningless things will be eliminated from your life, giving importance to those things that are really most meaningful.

Keep me on your favorites.  Please click onto www.gordonselley.com for more information about living with chronic pain, as well as spiritual healing.

I want to address an aspect about the importance of meaning as it relates to healing. And in the case of suicide, because its victims stumble over repetitious questions that have no absolute answers, meaning gets lost within the mire of emotional despair. 
 
Whenever we process through anguish, we typically turn to what we know is true, letting intellectualism and gut-feeling relate to and even answer our most difficult problems in life. This kind of behavior exists regardless of religious beliefs. But when suicide becomes the option for one’s hopelessness, the people left behind can’t really grasp the true meaning or rationally process about why this voluntary and intentional act had to occur in the first place. As a result, the ability to heal is greatly hindered.
 
The only meaning available about death is credited to the author of life and death, which is God. Therefore, we must find meaning in life from him to overcome despair and to allow healing to occur. In this regard, healing is not limited to intellectualism or prudent decision-making or extensive theological studies.
 
True healing involves our willingness and ability to believe. For true healing comes through Jesus Christ. Placing your beliefs in him not only brings about true healing but also enables you to make wise decisions when it comes to recovery, even in the event of suicide.
 
Thank goodness, Jesus gives us a viable option to attain meaning from death, even in the midst of something senseless. Believe in him. This will truly help you to find meaning regarding the issues of life and death, and pain and healing. You will find that God understands the mysteries of death and will give you knowledge about the purpose of living.

Keep me on your favorites.  Please click onto www.gordonselley.com for more information about living with chronic pain, as well as spiritual healing.